Friday, November 8, 2013

We got the call..

So just as I expected our results came back negative. Our doctor called and she gave us all of our options and hope for our next cycle. Just frustrated.  We told her we would call her by Monday after discussing options to let her know when and how we want to move forward.

Off to drink some wine,

Thursday, November 7, 2013

I Will Be A Wonderful Mom.

Another One Bites The Dust . .

            So we were implanted with an embryo last week.  Today I am 8dp5dt (8 days post 5 day transfer).  I just got back from a mini surprise vacation with my DH for my birthday.  It was a great place for some R&R.  We were hoping that it would be exactly what we needed while we weather the dreaded 2WW (2 week wait).  The 2ww is the time between your ET (embryo transfer) and your blood test to tell you whether or not you are pregnant.  2 weeks is such a long time.  You feel so many things happen to your body over this time period, and you decide a great idea is to google everything you are feeling.  My DH thinks that Google should be illegal to use during this time, and cannot believe that I have not run out of things to Google.  What I love about googling during this time is that it leads me to other blogs, or forums, or websites where women, who are going through the same struggles, are conversing about all of these things.  Twinges in their ovaries/CM/back ache/symptoms/when they get their BFN or BFP on their HPT (Home Pregnancy Tests) – it’s a great way to reassure myself that I have not gone crazy, and that there are plenty of other ladies out there thinking/researching/discussing/obsessing over the same things. 
            Anyways, we didn’t share much about this cycle with anyone this time around.  Of course there were a few people who knew we were starting the process, or that noticed I wasn’t drinking anymore (which is a dead giveaway that I must be prepping for another IVF cycle)  Well, we decided that third time would be our charm!  This time we would get our miracle baby.  We have grown so much over the past 2.5 years of TTC (Try To Conceive) , and now that we have learned so much God is definitely ready to bless us with our baby.  Well today is 8dp5dt.  I POAS yesterday and this morning and unfortunately… BFN.  Not even a tiny hint of a second line.  So this one didn’t work..  :/
            I’ll tell ya what though, a failed cycle is a lot easier to experience than what has happened the previous 2 cycles.  I could not handle another miscarriage right now.  I am thanking God today that He had it not work at all, rather than decide to have it stop working in 3 months.  
                Of course it ain’t over until AF (Aunt Flow) “sings” - - and she hasn’t, so who knows.  But I feel definite cramping.  Which of course could indicate AF, or a pregnancy. .  I was talking to DH by the pool the other day, and he was asking me what symptoms I was experiencing.  As I told them to him, he wanted to know if these were “good symptoms” (pregnancy symptoms) or “bad symptoms” (AF symptoms).  The kicker is . . 99% of all symptoms are a sign that you are both pregnant AND that AF is on the way.  It’s really quite annoying lol
                                Tomorrow is my blood test.  What I have found is that many women have tested BFN and got a call on blood work day saying that they are in fact pregnant.  I don’t feel pregnant.  I actually feel nothing, so I highly doubt that this is a possibility.  But at the end of the day, I am still holding out some hope that this could happen to me!  I go in tomorrow at 8am, and will get my call by 4pm. 
                And if that doesn’t go as planned . . Well here’s to a successful IVF #4.  I have one more frozen embryo left, so we may just go directly into a frozen cycle . . Won’t know for sure until we talk to our doctor next week.
                                              Frustrated & Hopeful,