UPDATE

                Alright, well it has clearly been a while since I have been on here.  And to be honest, I was waiting for me to come back here with some great news!  We are VERY hopeful this year! 

                So from our last Fresh IVF cycle, we still have one frozen embryo remaining.  So my options were to do another FET (frozen embryo transfer) with only one embryo, or start fresh to produce some more embryos.  At first we thought we would go the FET route.  Reason being, it is a lot less stress on my body, and it takes a lot less time than a fresh cycle.  My RE said that she suggests going forward with another Fresh IVF cycle instead because there was a risk that once we prep my body for an FET and then we go in for “transfer day” – there is a chance that the embryo will not defrost correctly and then I would have poked myself with needles for weeks for no reason.  Needless to say, we decided we would go for another fresh cycle.

                The cycle takes about 2 months, and the process is basically getting me to have a period . . Then there are suppressants that I inject myself with to ensure that I do not ovulate on my own.  From there, the medications (more injections) we use to produce eggs and then once they are matured and ready to be released . . That is when I have the “Retrieval” Surgery.

                Well long story short, MY BODY HATES ME!  My body decided (The first time we decided to start this cycle – approximately 3 months ago) that it was going to produce a nice LARGE cyst, at the worst possible time and therefore after 1.5 months of injections later, we would have to abruptly stop the cycle.  We decided to keep going and go right back into it as soon as I could.  Well that time we had the surgery all scheduled.  FINALLY!  I was so excited to have that anticipation.  Knowing that there would finally be a fertilized little egg in my body that could potentially one day be our baby was thrilling!  Well guess what, WRONG AGAIN.  My numbers decided to plummet and I was diagnosed with “Lean PCOS” – another wonderful ailment my body has picked up.  PCOS stands for Polycycstic Ovarian Syndrome.  If you look up all of the symptoms – you will find:  obesity, bad acne, unwanted male facial hair – All of which are AWFUL, and PCOS causes your body to not cooperate well with medications during IVF as well as getting pregnant naturally.  Lucky for me I have LEAN PCOS – basically my insides have all of the symptoms of stubbornness and are uncooperative, but I am lucky enough that my exterior does not have the same symptoms.  So, no obesity, acne, or beards anytime soon!  Phewf!

 Although none of our cycles have worked previously, I have remained hopeful . . But the time that I am the most hopeful is right after the “Transfer” (Which is usually 5-6 days after the Retrieval Surgery).  The time after the Transfer is known as the “2ww” (2 Week Wait), which is usually dreaded amongst most people in my situation.  But during that 2 week wait, it’s amazing how much I can feel that small embryo trying to bury itself comfortably to where it will hopefully be for the next 9 months.  I know that the furthest I have ever gotten in PREGNANT and that I have still yet to produce a child.  But during those 2 weeks, your body is doing so much work, and I am so aware of everything that is going on “in there” that I love to enjoy that time.  Although if you ask my DH – he will tell you that during that 2ww I become addicted to Google.  Googling EVERY symptom I have – Whether the symptom is real or imagined.  I also become a POAS-aholic (Pee On A Stick) – Both habits which he completely enables at times.  And when I tell him to hide the pregnancy tests on me “No matter how much I beg for one” – Let’s just say he’s easy to break.  Well this is the time frame that I am looking forward to right now!  And my body just can’t seem to get there.

So after now we are still trying to get those follicles (eggs) all ready and matured for Retrieval so that way we can get on with this cycle and make a baby damnit!  I just actually got the call from the docs.  MY NUMBERS ARE STILL GOOD!  Right now they have rescheduled my surgery for this Friday or Saturday, depending on my numbers.  They want to keep a close eye on me, so although I went in this morning for blood/ultrasound/etc – I get to go back in tomorrow morning, and probably every day leading up to the surgery. 

Lets just cross our fingers that all of my numbers continue to progess properly and we can get this surgery underway.

I know it has been a while since I have been on here, but for the past few months I have been very discouraged.  I didn’t want to come on here and sound miserable while bitching about what is going on.  Waited until we had a little bit of good news to share.

 

                                                                Love,

                                                                                A Hopeful Infertile