Waiting.

So right now we are just waiting. Waiting to find out if the nursery we have planned out will come to fruition, waiting to see if the shower I have to put together for the last three years will finally be an event, waiting to find out if those names that we've gone over so many times will be able to be assigned to a baby.. OUR baby.

We are very hopeful. We find out in the next week or two as to whether or not this is working. I have loved being able to keep everyone in the loop through this blog and more so, I have loved having everyone's support. We do ask however that until we announce whether it has worked or not, that it is not asked of us directly.  I hope you understand we are not saying this because you want to keep you out of the loop. However, one way or the other would like to announce it in our time. If it doesn't work, I want to be able to have time with my DH to get through our emotions and then I will announce. On the other hand, if this does work.. We need time to tell our families/friends and we would like to be able to tell it in our own way. Knowing that this may be the only time we're able to announce a pregnancy, it is very important to us that it is done with this timeline.   I hope you all understand. As soon as any information either way comes to us we will try our best to get the information out quickly.  

I am a little worried because I have zero symptoms. Other than being tired and sore bbs which are side effects caused by my progesterone injections.. nothing else!  The good news I can share… AF hasn't reared her ugly head yet, so that's always a good sign!

Here's hoping that Aunt Flo stays away!  

Xo 

Lindsay 

2dp5dt

So right now I am 2dp5dt (2 days post 5 day transfer).  It is crazy that all of these little acronyms are now something I use in every day conversations.  If someone posted that on my wall 2 years ago, I would come to the conclusion that their autocorrect is not working, or their intake of vodka was at an all time high.  

Right now, I have 2 (potential) babies inside my uterus.  This is something I could only say 4 times in my life.  This is such an amazing feeling, and such a hopeful time. Although I promise myself every cycle that I will be sure not to get my hopes up too high, this feeling in inevitable.  Its a miracle that doctors can have the technology to even make this happen, and its a miracle that our bodies were created in such a way to know what to do with these embryos.  (Clearly my body is a slow learner when it comes to this)

Right now I am what people consider P.U.P.O.  (Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise) I like to call it (pronunciation) Pup Poe  - rather than just simply using the letters.  Anyways, that's where I am right now and it's such a weird place to be.  Being partway pregnant is a very weird feeling.  It's exciting knowing that I may end up peeing on a stick and having that adrenaline rush of seeing those 2 bold pink lines.  But with a history of miscarriages, the mind can easily spin wildly out of control.  From excitement and pure joy, to worry.  Usually the mind will end up in a place in between those emotions: in emotional and psychological limbo - a state of being Cautiously Optimistic.  

Yesterday I POAS.  There were 2 lines.  For most women this means a positive pregnancy test . . For me?  It simply means that the hormone hCG is still in my system from my trigger shot I took that day prior to retrieval surgery.  I was advised not to POAS until 2 weeks had passed from taking the trigger shot because the hormone (hCG) that PTs test for is the main ingredient in the shot.  Well, rather than outing myself as a "POAS addict" and telling them that I planned on testing everyday until I test the hCG was out of my system, I simply responded with, "okay."  They tell you to hold off on the testing because the trigger causes a positive result, but in this case its a false positive.  So my plan was to POAS until the test went completely negative.  At that point I will know that if I test prior to my Beta Test Day at the Dr.'s office, I will know whether or not it is a true positive or a "trigger" positive.

Well it's on been 2 days, and I can honestly say I am a lot more relaxed this time than the others.  Sadly, I think that may be because my expectations are a little low at this point. 

I found a picture with this Inspirational Quote on it, and I thought I would share:

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Alright, off to Acupuncture . .

Lindsay

Transfer.

Today is transfer day!  We are transferring 2 little embryos and praying at least one sticks!  Our appointment is for 10:30, and because of the snow storm we are getting over here in MA.. We gave ourselves 2 hours to get here.  (It usually only takes about an hour) .. Well it took the entire 2 hours.  Ughhh.  

While we are sitting here waiting in the waiting room I found these:

Because all fertility clinics need children's books???  I have literally NEVER seen a child here.  

Anyways, I am very hopeful for this cycle!  Thinking 4th times a charm?  Thank you everyone for the notes, emails, care packages, cards, prayers etc.  They mean more than you know!

I will be spending the next 3 weeks or so as distracted as possible. I need to keep as busy as I can so I don't decide to POAS every hour to see if its "working." Lol

Alright, game time.  

-Lindsay 

How Many Eggs Turned Into Embryos?

So there were 13 eggs retrieved. Eight of them were mature. Seven out of those eight eggs became fertilized. Six out of those seven eggs have become embryos. Five out of those six embryos are very high-quality with one that is a little behind. Hopefully that little bugger will catch up. We find out Tuesday how many of those embryos made it to the blastocyst phase.  We are really hoping all five of high quality make it! That way we can at least do a frozen cycle if this fresh cycle does not work. That is not a situation we are hoping for, but it will be a silver lining. Wednesday will be my transfer.  We will hopefully be transferring two beautiful embryos!

Feeling hopeful,

Lindsay

Surgery- Fresh IVF #2

First off, I would like to thank everybody who reached out to me the morning of and the afternoon after the surgery. Whether it was with a kind message a phone call, a note or an email. It truly was appreciated. I'm so thankful that you are all in my life.

The surgery went well. I am still in some pain and I'm very uncomfortable, but it is to be expected.  I was in surgery for about 30 minutes. Apparently, although I do not remember this, while I was coming out of anesthesia I decided it was a good idea to ask all of the doctors and nurses if I pooped on them. I then proceeded to tell them how regular I was.  Lol.

Well we found out yesterday that they had retrieved 13 eggs. And of those 13 eggs, eight of them were mature and seven of them had fertilized. Today I find out how many of those seven are still maturing and whether not we will be doing a three-day transfer or five day transfer. Which means that I could get the call this afternoon telling me that the transfer's tomorrow.

I was supposed to be on bed rest for the two days following my surgery. So for the first day I stayed on the couch watching Netflix while DH catered to me.  The day following the surgery however, I ended up having to do some work and had some appointments. I ended up being on my feet from 10 AM until 4 PM. That was not a good decision. But I love my job so it didn't really bother me until I finally got home and realized how uncomfortable I was.  So today I only have one appointment and then I will rest for the remainder of the day. Hopefully this will cause the discomfort level to subside.

Praying for good new on our little embies,
Lindsay