So DH and I were talking about my “procedures” I have had, and the upcoming surgery and that the pain of those, physically, (and emotionally) are pretty rough. And although we haven't achieved our goal yet, we are happy for the break in procedures, medications, etc. Then I pointed out that this type of pain is probably less painful than actually delivering a baby. Obviously! Of course, we pray every day that I will be able to go through the pain of child birth someday. Hopefully, more than once.. I think that the concept of having a baby to most people is that you “create” this baby with a beautiful act, and then you take care of this baby while it is inside of your womb for 9months, and then you have a painful childbirth. After this painful childbirth, almost all women will say, that it was 100% worth it, because it created their beautiful baby.
Well, women who are going through these procedures and recovery time, while going through IVF, are not able to say that it was 100% worth it at the end of it. They don’t go through this pain and then have a beautiful miracle while they are recovering. They haven't even "conceived" yet. They are told to stay in their beds for a few days, or weeks, while they recover and they still have not reached their end goal, conceiving or becoming pregnant. They are not coming out the other side with a beautiful baby (yet), but they have high hopes that this will happen.
I am not coming at this saying that the pain infertile women go through isn’t worth the reward they are aiming for, I am just saying that the pain they are enduring is a different type of pain than that of a woman going through childbirth. It isn’t just a physical pain, but an emotional roller coaster as well. The pain that was endured during this birth is something that nobody will know the feeling of until they go through it. And hopefully, every woman out there that wishes to have a baby will have the ability to go through that pain someday.
I start this post of by giving you this background information because of a comment someone said to me a few weeks ago. She asked me what kind of procedures I had gone through and asked me about the upcoming surgery and about the recovery time, etc. After I responded with what has happened, and what I was told to expect with the upcoming surgery, her response back to me was quite rude and elementary. She said, “well you know that the pain you have from these surgeries isn’t as bad as us mom’s who have given birth to a child.” Needless to say, I was shocked at the response. Yes mam, I am sure that your child birth experience was more painful than some of the procedures and the surgeries that I am going through, but the fact that you can’t look outside of yourself and realize the difference between the two, is quite scary. It is ignorant comments like this that turn my stomach inside out. I would give ANYTHING to go through the pain of child birth, and I know there are plenty of ladies out there that feel the exact same way. I realize that I cannot be shocked at what people say to me, especially people who have not been in a situation like this. But this is a common knowledge, that you are rude, and quite self absorbed if that is your reaction to someone going through this. Maybe you might just want to consider that the pain of realizing you may never go through childbirth pains is a longer lasting, deeper pain than your 24 hours of childbirth. Anywho, I was just taken aback.
To all those hopeful “moms-to-be,” just realize that these people are not going out of their way to hurt you. There will always be rude, ignorant people, and it isn’t infertility issues they don’t know how to respond to, it’s anything that they are responding to. These types of people are the type you want to stay clear of while going through this. You want to surround yourself with positive, uplifting, and encouraging people. Talk to you DH or close friend, or family member(s). But if anyone in any of those 3 categories makes you feel that what you are going through is “not as bad as child birth,” you must realize that these are not the people to turn to during these times. If you are a lady of faith, relying on that will help out big time as well!
On a brighter note, I am happy to say that I am feeling 100% back to normal. My body feels like it is my own again, my emotions are back to where they usually are, and I have the energy levels that I am used to. I know that this is fleeting, due to the fact that I will be in surgery next week and then on some more hormones to follow, but right now, I am happy to feel like myself again. DH has just been the best, and we find out Monday the exact date/time of my surgery. Let’s hope that it is not before next Tuesday so DH doesn’t have to change his ticket back from FL . . AGAIN.
Thank you all for reading the blog! I can’t believe the amount of viewings we have had over the past week or so. I have people viewing in America AND Canada! Please feel free to share the site with anyone you know going through this, or if you yourself is going through this, your words of wisdom are always welcome! Feel free to email me @prayingforbabydust@gmail.com. (I know, I was pumped that the email was available!)
Happy Football Sunday!
Baby Dust to all,
Lindsay
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