Have you ever tried to accomplish something, and no matter what you did it was NOT getting done? That is how we are feeling. To be honest, there hasn’t been anything else in my life that I have ever felt like, no matter what I am doing, I am not making any progress and that all of my efforts are not working towards the results I want. I feel like I have always worked towards something, and it worked out the way I had planned, if not immediately, then shortly thereafter. This brings me to my point, “this is only a test.”
I feel like I am a “work in progress.” I feel as if no matter what I do, I am being told to be patient, and know that things will work out. I know that these are truthful statements. I know that these are principles I have been taught since I was a little girl. I also know that sometimes I just don’t want to hear it! I know this is something that is going to make me and DH stronger in the long run. I know that we will come out the “other side” (baby, or no baby) having a stronger heart than we ever could have imagined. I also know that if this miracle baby does happen . . we will be more grateful for this miracle because of this process. But sometimes I just want to scream that I want a baby now, and that this isn't fair! (Is that so awful?)
DH said the other day that he, “probably wouldn’t have appreciated the miracle of a baby as much, if this was not the path we were on.” I know what he means, if we had tried for a few months or so and then BOOM a baby is on the way, maybe we possibly wouldn’t have appreciated the miracle as much as we will now. This isn't saying that people who are blessed to have tried for only a few months and then had their baby, was any less of a miracle at all! This just shows me that maybe, just maybe, we needed this in order for our baby to have the most prepared, appreciative, and strong parents that they could possibly have. The other thought is that God just wanted extra time with our bundle of joy(s) before sending him/her down for us to enjoy. And we are okay with that.
Thank you Jesus for all of our blessings. We pray that you are enjoying our bundle, and we are ready for him/her whenever You are.
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Baby Dust and Miracles,
Lindsay
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